No more "Mr. Nice Guy"

At long last, Winter seems to be gasping final frigid breaths- the Snowdrops are blooming, the Crocus have appeared, and, the birds are busy finding a mate. ( as are, no doubt, a few other animals..) Felt it was time to let everyone know that,yes, I am still alive!! I've been neglegant of my postings ( new work and journals) because I've either been too tired to post or just plain busy with the rest of my life. I have been working on new images and will post some after I finish this. I am sane for the first time in many a Spring- explanation : every Spring, I used to worry myself sick ( literally) about HIV. I never endangered myself with unsafe sexual practices- and although I had been with a few people- I made sure to have protection. It didn't matter, I would worry about every spot on my body- fearing that it was a definite sign of KS ( Kaposi's Sarcoma)- it didn't matter that no ones blood had come into contact with mine, that I had not shared a needle ( I don't do drugs period)- or, that I had not been given a transfusion. My mind would warp Reality to fit my fears of being HIV exposed. What has changed? Well, I am , after therapy and appropriate meds, no longer anxiety ridden- I should also say that I would not even think about intimate contact with anyone but my partner- and if we ever broke up, I would definitely require any future partners to have proof that they were HIV-. So, yeah, it is something I remain conscious of and concerned about- but, it no longer ruins my life for months at a time. You can convince yourself of anything, regardless of reality- so, no more of that!!!! I am excercising daily- working out before I go off to my paid job- and, practicing yoga as well. Do I still have irrational moments, yeah, but now I know those moments are irrational because I have a better handle on what constitutes Reality- so, Spring- I welcome thee- with warmer days and milder nights- with flowers awakening and birds rejoicing in song!!!